Friday Fun: December 17, 2021
This week on Friday Fun we’re having a nice long laugh!
Every Friday at 6pm, join me on my Facebook Lives for Friday Fun! Where puns, jokes, and funny stories are always possible. Didn’t catch the live this week? Here are some of our favourite jokes!
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
‘In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
Robert went to his lawyer and said, 'I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.'
The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, 'Not a problem, leave it all to me.'
Robert looked somewhat upset and said,
'Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!'
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and order a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and begin to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening. The last thing they do is put their cat out. The taxi arrives, and as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in. Terry returns inside to chase it out.
Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, 'My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.'
Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, 'Sorry I took so long, the stupid idiot was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger several times before I could get her to come out!'
The airline had a policy that required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a - 'Thanks for flying XYZ airline'. An airline pilot on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard. In light of his bad landing, he had difficulty looking the passengers in the eye, all the time he thought that a passenger would have a smart comment. However, it seemed that all the passengers were too shell shocked to say anything.
Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?' Why no Ma'am,' said the pilot, 'What is it?, the little old lady said, 'Did we land or were we shot down?'
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. 'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.' Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.' 'What does that tell you?'
Watson ponders for a minute.
'Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?’
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. 'Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'
have coached and mentored individuals and facilitated small groups for over 30 years. I am a strong proponent of walking the walk and talking the talk. When I know something works, I like to pass it on to others!
Don’t forget to join me next Monday, December 20th for my weekly Facebook Live where I will be bringing you a new challenge!
Learn more by visiting our website at https://heatherlynnecoaching.com/
About Heather Lynne Personal Coach
I have coached and mentored individuals, and facilitated small groups for over 30 years. I am a strong proponent of walking the walk and talking the talk. When I know something works, I like to pass it on to others!
Join me and start your journey to spark meaningful change in your life. Discover new strategies and develop good habits by registering for our upcoming workshops at heatherlynnecoaching.com/workshops