Friday Fun: November 5, 2021
This week’s jokes for Friday Fun are too funny not to share!
Every Friday at 6pm, join me on my Facebook Lives for Friday Fun! Where puns, jokes, and funny stories are always possible. Didn’t catch the live this week? Here are some of our favourite one-liners!
To write with a broken pencil is … pointless
When fish are in schools they sometimes take … de-bait
Rhonda & Harry go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the “Chicken Surprise.” The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as Rhonda is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
“Good grief, did you see that?” she asks Harry.
He hasn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. Harry reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down again.
Rather perturbed Harry calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
“Please sir,” stammers the waiter, “what did you order?”
Harry replies, “Chicken Surprise!”
“Ah, so sorry sir, this is a mistake” says the waiter. “I brought you Peeking Duck!”
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement! He became a hardened criminal
Thieves who steal from corn fields should be charged with … stalking
We will never run out of math teachers. They always multiply!
A branch of the CRA claimed a farmer was not paying proper wages to his employees and sent an agent out to interview him. “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.
“Well,” replied the farmer, “There’s the farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months and I pay her $600 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the idiot that works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here.. He makes about $10 a week, pays his own room and board, provides for his family, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.”
“That’s the guy I want to talk to, the idiot,” says the agent.
“That would be me!” replied the farmer.
The doctor told Will that he should start a fitness routine immediately! Will, not wanting to harm his old, rather corpulent body has decided to put the following weekly regimen into practice:
Day 1 Beat around the bush several times
Day 2 Jump to conclusions all the time
Day 3 Climb the walls ….
I have coached and mentored individuals and facilitated small groups for over 30 years. I am a strong proponent of walking the walk and talking the talk. When I know something works, I like to pass it on to others!
Don’t forget to join me next Monday, November 8th for my weekly Facebook Live where I will be bringing you a new challenge!
Learn more by visiting our website at www.1000islands.coach/
About Heather O ‘Reilly
I have coached and mentored individuals, and facilitated small groups for over 30 years. I am a strong proponent of walking the walk and talking the talk. When I know something works, I like to pass it on to others!
Join me and start your journey to spark meaningful change in your life. Discover new strategies and develop good habits by registering for our upcoming workshops at heatherlynnecoaching.com/workshops