Father’s Day Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All
Father’s Day tends to show up in our inboxes and on calendars wrapped in a single narrative ~ one of backyard barbecues, heartfelt cards, and uncomplicated love. But in real life, that story doesn’t always fit.
For many women, this day brings a swirl of emotions. Gratitude. Grief. Warm memories. Regret. Absence. Connection. Confusion. Or even indifference.
And the truth is, whatever you feel about Father’s Day is valid.
Whatever you feel about Father’s Day is valid.
There’s no one way to experience this day
Some women grew up with steady, supportive fathers—men who offered presence, protection, and encouragement. For them, this weekend may be joyful and full of appreciation.
Others may be grieving a father they’ve lost, either recently or long ago. The ache can resurface in surprising ways—a familiar song, a favourite food, an old photo.
And then there are the many people for whom Father’s Day is complicated. Maybe your father was physically present but emotionally unavailable. Maybe he left. Maybe you’ve spent a lifetime trying to repair what couldn’t be repaired. Maybe you’ve worked hard to build a different kind of life than the one you grew up in.
Some never knew their father at all.
Some found father figures in uncles, coaches, family friends, or mothers who wore more than one hat.
And for many, the day lands somewhere in between—tender, tangled, uncertain.
There’s no one way to experience this day
You’re allowed to make the day your own
You don’t have to ignore Father’s Day, and you don’t have to perform it either. You get to choose how (or if) you acknowledge it.
Some ideas, if you’re not sure where to start:
Write a letter—to your father, to a father figure, or just for yourself. It doesn’t have to be sent.
Go for a walk and reflect on how your experience of fatherhood shaped you.
Celebrate someone else who offered you care and guidance.
Do something restorative—read, rest, move your body, spend time with someone who makes you feel seen.
Or simply let the day pass quietly. That’s a form of self-respect, too.
You’re allowed to make the day your own
A few gentle prompts to explore, if they feel helpful:
What does Father’s Day stir in me—memories, emotions, questions?
What would feel most supportive this weekend: connection, space, reflection, distraction?
Is there someone I’d like to honour—not necessarily a father, but someone who helped shape who I am?
These are for you. No pressure to share or act—just notice.
However you spend this day—actively or quietly, with others or alone—I hope you treat yourself with gentleness. You don’t need to justify your feelings or your choices. You can honour what’s true for you.
If this resonates with you, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or reach out:
📧 1000islands.coach@gmail.com
I'd love to hear your story—whatever it looks like.
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I have coached and mentored individuals, and facilitated small groups for over 30 years. I am a strong proponent of walking the walk and talking the talk. When I know something works, I like to pass it on to others!
Go to heatherlynnecoaching.com/workshops for more information and to register for my upcoming workshops or seminars!
About Heather O ‘Reilly
I have coached and mentored individuals, and facilitated small groups for over 30 years. I am a strong proponent of walking the walk and talking the talk. When I know something works, I like to pass it on to others!
Join me and start your journey to spark meaningful change in your life. Discover new strategies and develop good habits by registering for our upcoming workshops at heatherlynnecoaching.com/workshops